MM: Marriage Monday {Run the Marriage Race-Don’t Lag Behind}

Hebrews 12: 1-2 
Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Growing a Godly marriage can be similar to running a great race.  In the beginning, you begin your marriage journey with energy, excitement and great expectation.  There is no doubt, you and your husband are in this race to win.  

Then, something happens.   Life.  

How do you run this marriage race with endurance and finish the course?  

Follow me over to “A Little R & R” where I am guest posting today and see how you can run and win this marriage race of faith.  


Blessings and Shalom, 

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MM: Marriage Monday {How to Love Your Husband God’s Way}

Can we be honest today?  

Let’s talk about Love and marriage.  

The world tells us to “love yourself”.  Be better than others. 

The world asks, “What have you done for me lately?”. 

Sometimes in your marriage, you may find yourself asking this same question to your husband?  

Have you taken out the trash? 
Have you listened to me? 
Have you helped me with the kids today? 
Have you? . . . you get the picture.  

A marriage built on the world’s definition of love will fail.  

Yet, on our marriage journey, we can become so consumed with the things of this world, the day to day grind.  Issues, drama, life, marriage.  We can easily invite ourselves to the pity party and stay there a very long time.   That’s a party you don’t want to attend and if you are there, it’s time to leave.  

1 Corinthians 13: 4 tells us, 
Love is patient and kind, not jealous, not boastful, 

To love your husband more than yourself is a big request when you have a “me” mentality. However, humility is the key to opening your heart to love your husband more than yourself.   

During the early years of my marriage, I found that when my husband asked me to do something for him, or he failed to do something for me, I became impatient and unkind.   The tears flowed down my cheeks and before I knew it, we were yelling at each other.  Our relationship had become like a competition.  We acted like we were enemies on opposite teams.   My heart slowly grew bitter.  I couldn’t understand.  I used to be such a sweet person?  

You see, in the beginning, I had set myself up for failure.  Going into the marriage, I had great expectations.  I thought our marriage was immune to disappointment.  I based our relationship on conditions.  

I knew deep down, I loved my husband, yet my passion to serve him lacked.  

I needed a heart change.  I needed a servant’s heart.  

The Bible tells us that, greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. (John 15:13).   Laying down my life for my husband?  I knew I couldn’t do this on my own.  I needed the power of the Holy Spirit to work through me.   I started by asking forgiveness to God and Ruben.   I began to respond to Ruben’s requests in a humble and loving manner.   I thought, before I spoke.  

One of the attributes of the Proverbs 31 woman is kindness and it is on her tongue.  

Proverbs 31: 26 
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; And the law of kindness is on her tongue.

I made a decision.  I chose to love Ruben no matter what.  I changed my thoughts and attitude.  My actions changed and I changed.  My passion to serve Ruben began to grow and my desire to have a servant’s heart became bigger than me.  

A Servant’s Heart gives, but a worldly heart takes away.  

Having a servant’s heart is being like our Lord Jesus, for He gave His life for a dying world. He gave His life for a self-centered and self-righteous world. 

He gave His life for a selfish and self-righteous wife.  Yup, sometimes, I’m that girl.  

Can you imagine our Father God asking us, “What have you done for me lately?”.  

He has every right to ask, yet he doesn’t.  

Instead, He loves us with an unconditional love.  

The Bible describes this love as agape love and the word in Hebrew is called, hesed.  Love that is kind and faithful.  Eternal and Enduring.  –Undeserved Love.  

Kindness and faithful love (hesed) pursue me every day of my life.  I make my home in the house of Yahweh for all time to come.  
Psalm 23:6

Now, let’s look at 1 Corinthians 13: 4 again.  This time, applying it to your marriage and making it a declaration:  

-My Love for my husband is patient.   
I am patient toward my husband as God is patient toward me. 

-My Love for my husband is kind.  
I am kind to my husband as God is kind toward me.  

-My Love for my husband is not jealous and not boastful.   

As a daughter of the King, I want to be in the presence of God’s hesed-love every day of my life.  

I desire to give out-hesed.  

I want hesed-love overflowing from my heart to pour out on my husband.  

I want to love my husband as my Heavenly Father loves me- God’s way! 

Heart Check:  What are some ways you can show love (hesed) to your husband today? .  

Blessings and Shalom

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MM: Marriage Monday {Keeping God the Power Source in Your Marriage}

This week on Marriage Monday at the Little Pink Casa, I got the inside scoop on how to charge your marriage with the power of God!  Grab your Bible.  This is gonna be awesome so share this devotional with a girlfriend! 

enjoy. . . 

Have you you ever had your electricity turn off? Here in Arizona, during the summer months, we experience a number of thunder storms.  We have a fancy name for that called monsoons.  

They usually start or end with ugly waves of dust storms and seldom bring rain.  That is the discouraging part.  However, when a monsoon comes, it’s like a breath of fresh air from our high heat temperatures. 

Sometimes, these lightening storms can cause breakers to shut down and that means no electricity for a few hours.  We hunt for the candles and flashlights or usually sit outside to wait it out if we can.   

When the power comes back on, it’s a joyous celebration.   The air conditioning turns back on to combat the hot humidity.  The food in the fridge gets cold again and most importantly the lights turn on. 

We depend so much on our natural power source to live on these days, don’t we? 

Why then, do we not use God’s power source in our marriage? 

Your marriage can be like a power outlet

Either you both are plugged in to God’s power source or you aren’t. 

With God as the power source in your marriage you are always “on” even during emergency situations.   It’s only by the power of the Holy Spirit can your marriage thrive and survive through life’s storms.  

The word power means, the ability or official capacity to exercise control; authority

Authority is given through the spoken word.  Proverbs 18: 21 says that death and life are in the power of of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.  The words you speak over your spouse can be:  fear or faith based; discouraging or encouraging; a blessing or a curse.  

I feel like a queen when my husband Ruben speaks words of encouragement, blessings and faith over me.   Yet, it is a constant renewing of my mind for me.  As a wife, I can tend to nag or get my opinion across in a “not so nice” way.  If you know what I mean? 

Literally, I intentionally find myself holding my tongue.  Then, I remember what my Mom told me, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it at all!”.   Ay!  Your husband would love to feel honored and esteemed by the kind words you speak over him. 

With God as your power source you also have the authority over your marriage to speak to your obstacles or the plans of the enemy.  You have the authority to pray in Jesus Name and believe God for blessings and protection over your marriage.  
Luke 10:19 says, 

Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing will injure you.

Plugging your marriage into God will give you the power to guard your marriage.  

The power of prayer is mighty in the hands of a married couple.  

Use your weapon of war and fight together with prayer.  You must put on the full armor of God as a married couple.  
Ephesians 6: 10-17 tells us: 

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. 
Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.  Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand firm therefore, HAVING GIRDED YOUR LOINS WITH TRUTH, and HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, and having shod YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE; in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

When those storms come, you’ll have the power of God to see you through because you are connected to the true power source.  Amen? 

With God all things are possible!  Ruben and I could tell you stories over and over again to prove this verse.   I’ll save that for another time.  I know you want to hear more now. . . but you gotta wait.  🙂

Just know, when the hard times come, you must rely and surrender your marriage to the power of the Holy Spirit. 

Only then, can God’s light shine through you for others to see and you both can be a witness to other married couples.  

Be encouraged.  Get your marriage connected to God’s power source today.  

You’ve got the power! 

Do you have an encouraging story about how God has changed or is growing you in your marriage? 

Please feel free to share and comment below!  

You are beautiful.  

Blessings and Shalom

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MM: Marriage Monday {The Day I Said Yes!}

I usually write on my blog to encourage women.  Today, I also write to encourage myself. 

Getting caught up in the everyday life of being a Mama can make us forget how important our husband is to us. 

Today, I admit, I’m guilty of that. 

Then, this morning,  I had a glimpse of a sweet memory  . . . the day my husband proposed to me.  

Today, 18 years ago, I was asked the big question that many women long to be asked, “Will you marry me?”.  

That day was overwhelmingly joyful!  Ruben was adorably romantic.  He only dropped the ring once. . . he was so nervous.   He waited anxiously for me to answer with that one word, yes!”.  

That night, I couldn’t sleep.  I felt like I was walking on air.  I was going to be Ruben Valenzuela’s wife!   A dream come true.  

This is the day I said yes! 
Think back to the day when your husband asked you to marry him? 

We all have our precious unique love story, don’t we?  Yet, do we take the time to remember? 

Your husband chose you!  You chose Him!  Together you are a beautiful love story.  

If you can picture in your mind all the other women who would love to have him and remind yourself that he chose you.  It will make you realize how blessed you are. 

Your husband isn’t the only one who chose you.  The Bible says in John 15:16, “You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you”.  

You did not choose God, but He chose you.  It’s a choice of eternity-love everlasting.  
Just as I may take advantage of the fact that I have been blessed with a wonderful loving husband, I can also forget the One who gave my husband to me.  

Oh Lord, may I never forget that you chose me first.  

I choose to be intentional in remembering how thankful I am for my husband. 

I choose to be a wife first, then a Mama.  

I choose to remember that I am his and his alone.  

I choose to remember that I am yours Lord.  
Today, I take a sentimental journey that reminds me to be grateful for my husband.  I am blessed to be married to such a kind and loving man of God.  I love my husband.  

Even after all the mistakes we’ve made, and all the hard times we’ve faced, I thank the Lord for seeing us through the storms of life.  

The marriage journey has not been easy, but I would marry Ruben all over again if he asked me to-

I wouldn’t change a thing! 
What are some ways you keep your husband at the top of your list?  

Do you got a special engagement story?  I’d love to hear it, comment below! 

Blessings and Shalom

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15 Things My Parent’s Taught Me About Marriage

This weekend my family had a blessed time celebrating my parent’s 50th wedding anniversary.  Let me take you down memory lane. The year was 1963.  It was a beautiful autumn day in November, fifty years ago.  My parents vowed their love to each other and began the unknown journey of love and marriage.  I can picture them so young, living in a time that was springing forth growth.  Come on, it was the sixties.  Hello?  To think that my parents have lived to see this day, let alone persevered to stay married.  Yes.  Stay married.  It’s a true blessing.  A rare find.  

It is very rare to find married couples who are even married 15 or 20 years in this day where marriage is just a word.  Many young people in their twenties today are finding that they don’t want to marry because they have seen the deterioration of marriage all around them.  It’s very sad.  The lie of the enemy, Satan is telling many that marriage does not last.  Well, in my parent’s case, it does.  My husband’s parents marriage also lasted.  They were married for 61 years!  Wow!  Our children need to see examples of married couples like these who have committed to making a covenant last.  

Now, I’m not saying anything to ruffle your feathers if divorce has been part of your life or in your family.  I understand all situations are sensitive and different.  I write this post in as much love yet with much boldness and conviction.  I am just saying that marriage in God’s eyes means so much more!  It’s a covenant for life.

How does a marriage lasts forever?

God loves marriage.  His vision of marriage is described in the Bible and used in comparison to our relationship with Jesus.  We are like a beautiful bride waiting for our King to come back for us.  I love that lovely image.  

Marriage takes work and commitment.  It was created for growth.  Marriage is like a tiny seed that needs to be watered and cultivated in order for fruit to be established.  

Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, Moreover, an attacker may defeat someone who is alone, but two can resist him; and a three-stranded cord is not easily broken.
The three-stranded cord can be a symbol of a marriage with God holding it together.  God the Father, Husband, and Wife all together is like a strong three-stranded cord.   When you take away a cord and only have two strands, the rope is not strong enough to hold anything. 
God has to be the center of all marriages.  

My parents were not Christians until 30 years into their marriage.  My siblings and I did not grow up seeing a healthy marriage with Jesus in the center let alone in our home.  However, I had to learn along with my husband what it meant to have Jesus Lord over our lives and marriage.   The best part was when our parents decided to follow Jesus and make Him Lord of their lives. Through the years, good times and bad.  

“When Jesus resides in the home, love is there.  
When Jesus is welcome into a marriage, love is there.”  – Rosenda V

It’s time to enjoy the ride married couples!  Marriage is like a ferris wheel.  You go up and down.  It’s fun, it’s exhilarating, but soon the ride is over before you know it.  The years go by so quickly and soon one day, as you look deeply into your spouses eyes, you both realize you’ve grown old together.   

Those petty things you argued about in the past,  pet-peeves, silly and selfish things.  At that moment, we don’t think about that.  All we see is our love.  

As I was thinking about this post, I wanted to also share some words of wisdom about marriage.  I put together a list of what I’ve learned as a daughter of parents who have been married 50 years!

The 15 Things I’ve Learned From My Parent’s Marriage of 50 Years!

 1.   Invite God to be the center of your marriage and keep Him there.

 2.   The wedding is one day, but marriage is a lifetime.

 3.   Never Quit- when times get tough, deal with them and work them out.

 4.   Beauty and youth fade away, but love grows.

 5.   Marriage is a covenant and a final decision.  
       There are no other options- it’s all or nothing baby!

 6.   Children are a blessing, yet they will leave one day.  
        Keep the marriage priority at all times.

 7.   Time flies by so fast, enjoy your spouse while it lasts.

 8.   Husbands love your wives and Wives submit to your husbands.

 9.   Prayer is the key to keeping the marriage covered and protected.  Pray for your spouse.

10.  Love your spouse through mountain high or valley low.

11.  Invest in your marriage-the grass is not greener on the other side. . . 
       water your own grass.

12.  Date night!  Married couples need time to themselves.

13.  Dream together, pray together, trust the Lord together.

14.  Use trials to grow closer together, not farther apart.

15.  Forgive, kiss and make-up always.  No excuses.

. . . Overall, it was a true blessing to see my parents celebrate 50 years of marriage together. We are so thankful for what the Lord has done in our family. Our Mom and Dad have been there for all of us and many others. They continue to give of themselves over and over again. They have such hearts of Gold. Praise Be to God!   Happy Golden Anniversary Mom and Dad. 

Blessings and Shalom,

How do you keep God the center of your marriage?