Can we be honest today?
Let’s talk about Love and marriage.
The world tells us to “love yourself”. Be better than others.
The world asks, “What have you done for me lately?”.
Sometimes in your marriage, you may find yourself asking this same question to your husband?
Have you taken out the trash?
Have you listened to me?
Have you helped me with the kids today?
Have you? . . . you get the picture.
Yet, on our marriage journey, we can become so consumed with the things of this world, the day to day grind. Issues, drama, life, marriage. We can easily invite ourselves to the pity party and stay there a very long time. That’s a party you don’t want to attend and if you are there, it’s time to leave.
1 Corinthians 13: 4 tells us,
Love is patient and kind, not jealous, not boastful,
To love your husband more than yourself is a big request when you have a “me” mentality. However, humility is the key to opening your heart to love your husband more than yourself.
During the early years of my marriage, I found that when my husband asked me to do something for him, or he failed to do something for me, I became impatient and unkind. The tears flowed down my cheeks and before I knew it, we were yelling at each other. Our relationship had become like a competition. We acted like we were enemies on opposite teams. My heart slowly grew bitter. I couldn’t understand. I used to be such a sweet person?
You see, in the beginning, I had set myself up for failure. Going into the marriage, I had great expectations. I thought our marriage was immune to disappointment. I based our relationship on conditions.
I knew deep down, I loved my husband, yet my passion to serve him lacked.
I needed a heart change. I needed a servant’s heart.
The Bible tells us that, greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. (John 15:13). Laying down my life for my husband? I knew I couldn’t do this on my own. I needed the power of the Holy Spirit to work through me. I started by asking forgiveness to God and Ruben. I began to respond to Ruben’s requests in a humble and loving manner. I thought, before I spoke.
One of the attributes of the Proverbs 31 woman is kindness and it is on her tongue.
Proverbs 31: 26
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; And the law of kindness is on her tongue.
I made a decision. I chose to love Ruben no matter what. I changed my thoughts and attitude. My actions changed and I changed. My passion to serve Ruben began to grow and my desire to have a servant’s heart became bigger than me.
A Servant’s Heart gives, but a worldly heart takes away.
Having a servant’s heart is being like our Lord Jesus, for He gave His life for a dying world. He gave His life for a self-centered and self-righteous world.
He gave His life for a selfish and self-righteous wife. Yup, sometimes, I’m that girl.
Can you imagine our Father God asking us, “What have you done for me lately?”.
He has every right to ask, yet he doesn’t.
Instead, He loves us with an unconditional love.
The Bible describes this love as agape love and the word in Hebrew is called, hesed. Love that is kind and faithful. Eternal and Enduring. –Undeserved Love.
Kindness and faithful love (hesed) pursue me every day of my life. I make my home in the house of Yahweh for all time to come.
Now, let’s look at 1 Corinthians 13: 4 again. This time, applying it to your marriage and making it a declaration:
-My Love for my husband is patient.
I am patient toward my husband as God is patient toward me.
-My Love for my husband is kind.
I am kind to my husband as God is kind toward me.
-My Love for my husband is not jealous and not boastful.
As a daughter of the King, I want to be in the presence of God’s hesed-love every day of my life.
I desire to give out-hesed.
I want hesed-love overflowing from my heart to pour out on my husband.
I want to love my husband as my Heavenly Father loves me- God’s way!
Heart Check: What are some ways you can show love (hesed) to your husband today? .
Blessings and Shalom,
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