MM: Marriage Monday {The Best Years of Our Lives}

Today is Little Pink Casa’s first Marriage Monday post of 2015.  Are you ready for the best year in your marriage?  Keep reading. . . 

This weekend, Ruben and I watched a movie together called, “The Best Years of Our Lives“.  The first time we watched this movie was a year after we were married, about 15 years ago.   The movie is one those World War 2 tear jerkers.  It’s a black and white classic.  Ruben and I enjoy watching classic movies together and this one is as good as it gets.    You’re probably asking, “what does this movie have to do with my marriage?”.   Even though this movie takes place in the 1940’s many of the lessons in it are relevant for marriage today.

Let me fill you in on the background of the film. . .

The movie begins with three war veterans returning back from war to civilization and to the lives they left before the war.  One man is happily married and a father with grown children.  Another man is a newlywed, just married before he left for war.  The other is a young man who lost both his hands in battle and is coming back to a girlfriend.  

The movie connects all three men together as they travel home and end up in the same city.  We follow the men’s stories and watch how they try to adapt back to their pre-war lives.   During a climactic scene with the married father, a great truth is exposed.  

In this particular scene, the father and his wife try to console their twenty-something daughter about her love dilemma.  The daughter blurts out to her parents, “how would you understand, you’ve never had any problems, your marriage is perfect!”.  The mother and father look at each other and gently smile as they tell their daughter, “How many times did we have to fall in love with each other again?”.   Those specific lines resounded in my head.  

“Your marriage is perfect!”.  

“How many times did we have to fall in love with each other again?”.  

Now I ask you, How many times have you cried, been discouraged or felt sorry for yourself because you thought your marriage isn’t perfect?  

How many times did you believe the lie that your marriage has to be perfect?  Who really has a perfect marriage anyways?  

No one.  

Setting yourself up for unrealistic expectations sets your marriage up for failure.  It can soon destroy your relationship.  Also, focusing on what you don’t have in your marriage allows your joy for the present to be stolen.  You could be missing out on the best years of your lives.   

Fall in love Again
I have learned that when we start to believe our marriage is imperfect,  that’s when it’s time to fall in love with our spouse again.  It starts with not looking for perfection in your marriage, but looking to the One who is Perfect-our God!  1 Peter 4:8 tells us, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins”.   Marriage is a union of two sinners and disappointment will come.  We may lose that loving feeling.  However, if we look to God’s definition of love, we can love each other deeply enough to cover the imperfections.  
Falling in love with your spouse is an ongoing process and it’s a choice.  It takes work and intentional focus.  It’s never too late to recommit your love for each other.    No matter how cold the love has grown.  Reigniting the love in your marriage is like a campfire in winter.  The fire begins with one spark, and burns strong at the beginning.  Yet, as the hours pass, the flame grows low.   The air grows cold, darkness fills the camp.  It’s time for more logs on the fire.  It’s time to build that fire up again.  Fan the flame.  

Just because the fire is slowly dying doesn’t mean it’s out.  Yet, even if the fire dies, there’s always a way to relight it.  Throw another match on the fire!   It only takes one match to get a fire burning.

I want to encourage you this new year, wherever you are in your marriage journey, to fall in love again!   Reignite the passion in your marriage by asking the Lord to help you see your spouse through His eyes of love.  Commit to love your spouse deeply.  Love without measure.  Life is too short.  Don’t wait until it’s too late.   These really are the best years of your lives! 

Blessings and Shalom, 

What are some ways you fall in love with your spouse again?  

Ruben and I love to dress up like the prom, turn the lights down low and dance to romantic music in our living room.  It’s simple, doesn’t cost a cent, yet makes my heart flutter.  

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MM: Marriage Monday {How to Love Your Husband in Difficult Times}

This week on Marriage Monday at the Little Pink Casa, learn how to love your husband in difficult times.  Grab your Bible!  This is going to be life changing for your marriage! 

It’s an early fall Monday morning.   I’m sitting here with my coffee.  Peering out the back kitchen window with devotional in hand.  

I’m thinking . . . how wonderful it is that I can sit here for a peaceful moment.  A time to gather my thoughts.  A time to be thankful.  I open my Bible to 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 and read, 

“Love is patient and kind, not jealous, not boastful,
not proud, rude or selfish, not easily angered,
and it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not gloat over other people’s sins
but takes its delight in the truth.
Love always bears up, always trusts,
always hopes, always endures.”

This weekend, my husband Ruben preached a message for our home fellowship about 1 Corinthians 13.  


We are mostly familiar with these verses, aren’t we?  Sometimes all too familiar.  We can take for granted what these verses truly mean when it comes to the marriage relationship.   Something that is so familiar can become overlooked.   

You can show your husband a zillion ways how you love him when times are great.   That’s the easy part.  

However, the true test, is loving your husband when life is hard or when you don’t feel like it.   When you don’t feel patient or kind.  When you want to bring up your husband’s past mistakes in order to win an argument.  When your pride wants to take over.  Come on, be honest.  You’ve been there before.  Maybe you are there right now? 

How do you love your husband during the best and worst of times?  

When you may not feel like it?  

Simply, by remembering that your husband is a blessing.  

When I start to remember why I love my husband and why he is such a blessing to me, my heart changes.   I melt.    I remember that loving my husband is not based on my feelings.  Feelings and emotions are unstable.  They are self-motivated and based on circumstances.  

Romans 8:15 says, For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit.”

Loving your husband is a decision to love him with God’s unconditional love.  Also, it is a love initiated by the Spirit of God.  That can only be done by the power of the Holy Spirit within you.   You can not do it on your own.  

In other words, choose to love your husband no matter what comes your way.  There’s no escape plan if the relationship gets too hard or you lose that loving feeling.  Marriage is for life.  A strong biblical marriage can not be like the wind, blowing here and there, yet it must remain built on the solid rock, Jesus.  When built on a firm foundation, no matter what storms come your way, you both can stand strong together.  

During the most difficult times,  your husband needs your love the most.  As a wife, you can choose to love your husband by showing him kindness, forgiveness, and also releasing him from past offenses.    God loves us and forgives us no matter what we’ve done.   In order to be forgiven by God, the Bible says we need to forgive others their trespasses also (Matthew 6:15).    

Praying for your husband during difficult times is also a way to extend love toward him.  It’s been said that a praying wife is more valuable than gold.  Who else will pray for your husband?  It is a high calling and honor to go to the Father and intercede for your husband.  Some things you can pray over him are God’s will for his life, protection and blessings.  

Have you thought about why your husband is a blessing to you and your family lately? 
When we start to count our blessings and be grateful, everything changes.  The way you see your husband changes.  You start to see him through God’s eyes.  God’s way.  

My husband is a blessing to me because . . . 

He knows me.  He takes me on coffee dates where I can enjoy the biggest lattes ever! 

He makes me laugh.  I love his big contagious smile!  

He’s fun to be around.  He’s like grease lightening! 

He loves me a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck.  Even when I don’t deserve it.

Why is your husband a blessing to you?  
What are your reasons?  Now it’s your turn.  Make a list and write a little note telling your husband why he’s a blessing to you.  Get crazy, fun or creative.  

It may be a challenge to love your husband during difficult times, but your husband truly is a gift from God.   Take time to share your list with your husband this week.  He’ll feel like he’s on top of the world!  

Blessings and Shalom

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