Today is Little Pink Casa’s first Marriage Monday post of 2015. Are you ready for the best year in your marriage? Keep reading. . .
This weekend, Ruben and I watched a movie together called, “The Best Years of Our Lives“. The first time we watched this movie was a year after we were married, about 15 years ago. The movie is one those World War 2 tear jerkers. It’s a black and white classic. Ruben and I enjoy watching classic movies together and this one is as good as it gets. You’re probably asking, “what does this movie have to do with my marriage?”. Even though this movie takes place in the 1940’s many of the lessons in it are relevant for marriage today.
Let me fill you in on the background of the film. . .
The movie begins with three war veterans returning back from war to civilization and to the lives they left before the war. One man is happily married and a father with grown children. Another man is a newlywed, just married before he left for war. The other is a young man who lost both his hands in battle and is coming back to a girlfriend.
The movie connects all three men together as they travel home and end up in the same city. We follow the men’s stories and watch how they try to adapt back to their pre-war lives. During a climactic scene with the married father, a great truth is exposed.
In this particular scene, the father and his wife try to console their twenty-something daughter about her love dilemma. The daughter blurts out to her parents, “how would you understand, you’ve never had any problems, your marriage is perfect!”. The mother and father look at each other and gently smile as they tell their daughter, “How many times did we have to fall in love with each other again?”. Those specific lines resounded in my head.
“Your marriage is perfect!”.
“How many times did we have to fall in love with each other again?”.
Now I ask you, How many times have you cried, been discouraged or felt sorry for yourself because you thought your marriage isn’t perfect?
How many times did you believe the lie that your marriage has to be perfect? Who really has a perfect marriage anyways?
Setting yourself up for unrealistic expectations sets your marriage up for failure. It can soon destroy your relationship. Also, focusing on what you don’t have in your marriage allows your joy for the present to be stolen. You could be missing out on the best years of your lives.
Fall in love Again
I have learned that when we start to believe our marriage is imperfect, that’s when it’s time to fall in love with our spouse again. It starts with not looking for perfection in your marriage, but looking to the One who is Perfect-our God! 1 Peter 4:8 tells us, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins”. Marriage is a union of two sinners and disappointment will come. We may lose that loving feeling. However, if we look to God’s definition of love, we can love each other deeply enough to cover the imperfections.
Falling in love with your spouse is an ongoing process and it’s a choice. It takes work and intentional focus. It’s never too late to recommit your love for each other. No matter how cold the love has grown. Reigniting the love in your marriage is like a campfire in winter. The fire begins with one spark, and burns strong at the beginning. Yet, as the hours pass, the flame grows low. The air grows cold, darkness fills the camp. It’s time for more logs on the fire. It’s time to build that fire up again. Fan the flame.
Just because the fire is slowly dying doesn’t mean it’s out. Yet, even if the fire dies, there’s always a way to relight it. Throw another match on the fire! It only takes one match to get a fire burning.
I want to encourage you this new year, wherever you are in your marriage journey, to fall in love again! Reignite the passion in your marriage by asking the Lord to help you see your spouse through His eyes of love. Commit to love your spouse deeply. Love without measure. Life is too short. Don’t wait until it’s too late. These really are the best years of your lives!
Blessings and Shalom,
–What are some ways you fall in love with your spouse again?
Ruben and I love to dress up like the prom, turn the lights down low and dance to romantic music in our living room. It’s simple, doesn’t cost a cent, yet makes my heart flutter.